Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

The past few days have been absolute madness and a roller coaster of emotions.  First I have been dealing with the fact that a woman I allowed to adopt a rescue cat, turned him out to a very rugged, rough area with little to no concern.  She did not bother to phone me to perhaps take him back, nor did she phone me when she claims he escaped or so that is what her husband said.  She has yet to talk with me.

How I found out of his missing, was during the break of a house concert of mutual friends. I inquired of the husband about the cat.  His response was “I am not so sure you should ask”…so I asked why and he told me the cat had escaped.  That was three days and nights after the cat was let out.

They live in a very dense underbrush area.  Growth after fires many years ago.  The trees that once were, are burned nubs with thick brush that has taken over the terrain.  It is hilly, rocky and rough.  Swarming with coyotes and other type of predators.  It would be tough for him since he has been living in a much more civilized environment with two canned food meals a day and dried food, water as he wanted it.

Many said this woman would offer him a good home.  I wanted great however had to go with supposedly good.  A few days after he went with her, I inquired about him and was told he was not happy so I suggested a few things.  Then I didn’t hear back so I thought maybe things had worked out a bit.  It had only been four days since she took him.  Taking him on a Friday night then by Wednesday he is let out to the wild.

There are not words to express how I feel other then heartbroken.  I feel I let him down by trying to find a home for him.  We had a routine worked out.  Not ideal yet manageable.  I have numerous cats already and simply could not take another one inside.  So I offered him a place to be and regular food offered on schedule.  Plus my house is for sale and I will be moving.  So he needed to be placed.

He already had a sad story which this woman who was going to give him a home, knew.  He had been turned out to the streets by the daughter of his owner when she passed.  He came to my house because I think at one time he may have lived there.  I bought my house from his owner.  So I fed him and nurtured him as I could.  Over the course of the months of trying to find him a home, I watched him become more untrusting and his coat more scruffy.  My heart broke each time I would feed him and so wanted to add him with the others yet I just could not take one more.

So when the opportunity arose for him to have a home I went with it. I was promised he would stay indoors and then later if he wanted to go out, he could.  I asked around and was told she would be a good provider and he would have a good home.  So I went with it.

When she came to get him that Friday evening with storms looming on the horizon I was relieved knowing that he would not be out in the storms.  Yet when she opened the back area of her SUV and set the carrier inside with the food I sent along, closed the door in his face, my heart sank.  I almost said no just leave him.  Because if it had been me, he would have been setting on the passenger seat and I would have talked with him all the way home.  So my fears began then.  I didn’t think too much would really happen other then he may have a bit longer to adjust.

I did not know that they had a new little dog which Sherlock so disliked little dogs because the one that visited the neighbors from time to time, aggressively chased him.  So I feel sure that contributed to his fears in the new place.

To be so nonchalant about him being outside in such a rough area,  not even looking for him, not even calling me to let me know so that maybe I could have found him quickly is just beyond what I can understand.

A friend sent me a message that it is animal abuse and I have to agree with her yet there is not anything that I can do.  I am now having to face that I may never find him.  I have word out with everyone along the road that leads to their house.  I even talked with the fire department so that if they are cruising around checking things out, they can watch for him.

He just does not deserve this.  So I am reeling from the betrayal by her.  Reeling because I feel I let Sherlock down and betrayed his trust.  I am truly at a loss of what to do now because as the additional days mount into close to a week, the chances grow slimmer and slimmer.

I am loosing faith in almost everything.  The world is a mess and people just do not take responsibility for their actions.  It has become such an uncaring, cold, hateful society that it is difficult to deal with.   It makes me want to do as Sherlock is probably having to do, find a hiding place and just stay.  It also makes me want to just stop the world and get off.

Yet we can’t really do that.  Just like this situation with Sherlock and all the hope going away each day, not because either of us did anything however because of the self centered negligence of someone else, is just how society feels.

People no longer are grateful for efforts made on their behalf.  They think they can do better through someone else with more wealth, more power leaving the one who began the process to be tossed to the wilds, like Sherlock.

There do not seem to be any answers and I have always been able to look at things and think maybe there is just a window of hope yet today as I write this, I am not so sure any longer.  I have truly lost faith in man kind.  I have lost faith that kindness and caring still exist.  I have lost faith that we can treat animals and people with respect and consideration.  I have lost faith in general and somehow like all of us, that needs to turn around.

So maybe there is a safe place in our hearts and maybe Sherlock has a safe place or will find a kind loving home in the briar patch.  Maybe Alice will show up with tea and a tuna cake for him and the tin man will offer some hope.  Let’s just hope that is true for all of us.


About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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1 Response to Stop the World, I Want to Get Off

  1. mksmith says:

    So very sorry about this, special prayer today for you and sherlock. Prayers to lift up.

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