The If in Life


Several years ago in a conversation with a women I knew at the time, I said to her “well you know, there is a big “if” in life”.  She was moaning about the precarious state we sometimes find ourselves.

If only thoughts pass frequently through our minds.  If only I would win the lottery then everything would be great.  If only I could loose 20 pounds then I would look and feel better.  If only I could get that client.  If only I had someone in my life. If only my Mother had been nicer.  So on it goes.

Yet life really does have a big if smack in the middle of it.  It is not really linked with only at all.  It is just life.  I have to wonder when the English language was created if there wasn’t a playful mind lacing the question into the word.

My Mother was always one to offer up the dream of the if onlys….and I suppose that is how it happens.  And I suppose that really if is but a dream state and so is life in many ways.  We slip through the day sometimes with purpose, sometimes not.  The older we get the less we feel the need to please or to strap ourselves with obligations.  We want freedom and joy.  Everyone actually does and some gain it with abandon.  Others not so much.

Many hang on to the ifs and tuck those into their pockets as if a a talisman not realizing that ifs can actually be a big crutch.  And if you look at the word life….if is really holding up the L and the E.  It is the bridge between.  Yet when if stands alone it takes on a less solid meaning.  A more precarious one.

And when we think about where we are today as a people, we are in the middle of a state that is very similar to that of if.  Things are totally out of whack.  Respect for one another has fallen by the side of the road and values have seem to slipped over the cliff.  People struggle who should not struggle.  We walk on eggs and hope that all falls into place….if only.

IMG_0981Then again, because it is part of life, if is really something to push us forward.  To push us to go after that job.  To paint another painting because if as an artist we do, we may just have a sale.  It can push us if we listen, to find the freedom we seek by forgetting about the pressures of the day and take a quiet walk among the trees, the flowers and when we  just allow ourselves to be still for a few moments, we may just hear the music in the garden…though your heart must be very quiet.

And so it is that there is a big If in life and perhaps that is a good thing.

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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