My Life as a Cat


Hey…it is Benson, here. Yea I know I should just be laying around and acting regal but that photois not me. So I decided it was time I write a blog. No I can not type my paws are too large for the keys and I haven’t yet learned to use a computer although the thought has crossed my mind. The woman I live with normally writes this blog so this morning we chatted and I asked if she would type what I wanted to say so I could at long last share some things. No I am not willing to share my toys especially Ms Vegas. I will share the huge suite where I live if you are nice and clean…you must be clean. I had enough dirt in the alley and I simply can not abide it now that I know the difference.

So here it folks…I was this rough and tough guy wondering around the allies of the small country town where I was born and left to take care of myself at a very young age. I learned the ropes quickly. You have to in the alley. And you have to be careful who you try to have as a friend because they will take a mouse from you in a flash if you are not careful. I became wise fast after a few nights of a rumbling tummy.

In all honesty I did not like the taste of the disgusting four legged, crawly, little,grey things. Yet when a guy is hungry one can not be too proud. Alley life it rough. A guy like me had to always watch over his shoulder for the animal control guy who more then once tried to catch me. Cats though have it better then dogs because we can slip into hiding places, dogs can not and as a result the animal control guy happily catches them and all I can hope for is that someone claims them or gives them a good home. The up side of that is, dogs are more likely to be saved and put out for adoptions. The option for cats is not quite so bright. So even though I am orange and stand out, I manage for several years to avoid that miserable little man.

There was one time when I was trapped in the back of an old building owned by a woman who was quite the drama queen. She didn’t take care of the building and the back window was broken so several of us sort of just hung out in the back. She had old chairs, mattress…oh yea did we like that…and boxes of stuff so we sort of found a little heaven. Then one day after the longest time, she happen to come into the back of her building and man did she freak. She screamed and fretted like some kid who had dropped his ice cream in the sand. I headed for the window because I was the largest one and could not slip through the opening under the door. She was after me and all in a panic. We struggled as I pushed through the broken glass and man did I do some damage to myself. If only she would have not tried to push me, I would have been fine.

Then I heard her telling a story like she was all injured and allergic to cats…now really. I didn’t even touch her although I really wanted to turn and scratch her big time. She had her hands all over my back side… really that is a bit personal. So she set the animal control guy on me. He set out a trap with that lousy food they offer thinking any of us would venture in because of the rank smell. Well someone kept tripping the trap.

So one day I am wondering around after he removed the trap and I smell food, really good food. I venture over and discover there are bowls of food and water…a bowl of clean fresh water. The food appeared on schedule each day in the morning at 7 and in the afternoon around 5. So I began hanging out there with a group of other cats. None of us fought for the food, we shared although not always politely. Then one day as I am waiting for the woman who brought the food, the strangest thing happen. Out of the blue, there was this poof and a mirage like cat sat on top the air conditioning unit. He told me there could be a really good life if I was just willing to give up the rough and tough world of  the alley. Let the woman who was setting the food out take me in a cart type thing to live with her or even someone she knew. He said he knew for sure because he lived with her for several years before he became stressed they were moving from the building next to the food and made himself so sick he moved onto the higher level. Crossed over the rainbow bridge. For real, man. This is what this mirage cat told me. He said his name was Bernard although all his friends and family called him Nardy.

I rubbed my paw over my face not believing this was happening to me. To me, a country cat living in the alley. Now really. When I removed my paw from my face, he was gone. Nardy that is.

Then a few days later the guy who lives in a run down old building that not even one of us alley cats would live in…sleeping in the alley is better then that old place that smells like sewer and is full of bats…well to continue he told a few people I was a nuisance and that he was going to shoot me if I did not get out of there. I had not bother him. He was coming over and taking our food that the lady was leaving for us. I was not exactly happy about that so maybe I wasn’t very nice to him. I certainly did not harm him in anyway however I may have given one of my intimidating hisses that had served me so well in the past.

Then the food lady heard that he was going to shoot me and before I know it,  just like Nardy said, a crate appeared with big fat shrimp inside. Nice towel as well that smelled ever so fresh. It did not take me long to stroll right into that little cage, eat the shrimp and then sit down and look at the door that had somehow been closed behind me.

At first I went to another woman’s house. She had a cat that was not too happy I was there so I was locked in some tiny little room where I would spend the night with the idiot cat of hers hissing at me through the door. I wasn’t doing anything. In fact it was so nice to just be in a clean comfortable place that I didn’t care about bothering with him at all. Then the next morning she crams me into this kitten size crate. Mind you I am a big boy. I cut my nose just trying to turn around…badly cut my nose. I think I was suppose to live with her but man am I glad that did not happen. She then took me to a very sterile place and they did what I feared most in my life. They changed me, totally changed me and did not even ask my permission.

She decided she didn’t want me and the lady who had been bringing the food came for me and we went to her house where I was given this huge space. Big bed. A sofa, pillows…lots of food and indoor toilet…you know a litter box. The place even has a television. Big windows to look out at the birds and happenings on the street. Heaven really. Yet I wasn’t too nice to her at first. After all my manhood had been altered and I was not sure how I felt about that.

As time has passed though I have become very grateful for all of it. I am grateful I have this incredible home. Grateful for the food. A television to watch. The lady to be with. I stay in what is called the master suite of the house. Huge space. Almost as big as the alley but with rugs rather then dirt and pillows…again, pillows. Who knew life could be so good. There are other cats that live in the house and one or two have talked with me through the door. Two are spoiled brats and arrogant. Two are very old and the reason I am not out mingling with them. I am still too much of a party boy and forget my manners. Just wanting to be friendly however because I look tough they think I want to fight. We use to go out with this stupid contraption wrapped around me called a leash. I am so big she bought one for a dog. Being the smart guy I am, I learned how to get out of it though, so now each morning all the others spend time in the other bedrooms and I come out to roam the house. Eat any left overs the brats have left…lounge on the sofas. Pee in their litter boxes just to let them know I am around. Kind of a fun thing to do.

I enjoy the time. Sometimes I sing along with the music. Today it was the Rolling Stones, tomorrow it may be Andre Boccelli who is my favorite. We sound a lot alike when we sing or I think so.

I think we may move from the house where we live. The small town has been like my life in the alley for my lady and she wants to have a bit more normal life with more to do and like minded people to be with. I feel sure all of us will get along when we are in our new place. She promises a screen porch and that would be so nice. Oisie the older girl who visits at my door sometimes…I think she must be in her 80s by now in people years and not well…tells me how wonderful Florida is. That is where she was born and like me spent time in the alley. Like me she fell for the shrimp trick although has not regretted it. Nor have any of the others. Well Barnum and Bailey are from Florida as well but they are snobs because they have had a home since they were only 6 weeks old so only know the good life. Life is not fair sometimes yet I am full of stories and I have the scars on my face to prove I know about life.

I am grateful for Nardy giving me the nudge and I am grateful I have such a great home. I only wish all guys like me and girls like Oisie could do the same, then the world would truly be a wonderful place.

So now I must go take a cat nap. Dinner is in about an hour or so and I am hoping for a bit of chicken with pumpkin tonight…oh yum.

Take care and heres to all the cool cats out there…

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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