The past night the sky was bursting with the full moon. A lunar moon so they say. The type of moon that is suppose to heighten emotions and prompt change.
These type of full moons always affect me. Perhaps it is because I am a water sign and the tide is high in my mind. It is also odd how it affects my balance both mentally and physically. I notice a type of dizziness with full moons such as this and my emotions are like a surfer riding a wave.
I am so wanting change these days. The house to sell. The move I plan to happen and be finished with. A new life begun. So when I read that this is a full moon of change I have hope. There are hurtles to jump. Obstacles to over come. Matters to understand. Actions to take. Boxes to go through and clear out unnecessary stuff. It seems there is time yet little time for this.
With a full moon of this magnitude, there are profound dreams. The types of dreams that bring messages, warnings. The sleep so deep it all seems real and the thoughts are provoked on waking into thinking through the messages.
I cancel a photo shoot of the house, because it doesn’t feel right. I ponder is the realtor I am listing my house with whether or not the appropriate one for what I want to accomplish. I ponder the next steps of what I need to do to achieve what I need to achieve to set myself free from the burdens I feel. I complete a memoir, a very sad story and that story prompts me to think through so much. To clear out the boxes stored with memories in my mind. It comes with the full moon too, the reading of that book, that story, that life. In someways I feel a parallel. The loss of childhood to worry. Always worry from a young age. It becomes one of those things that won’t stay in a box and always surfaces because it is old tapes.
The full moon pulls those old tapes to the surface of the wave. To crest and fall as the wave crashes to the shore. The tide rushes in as the moon grows larger, brighter in the sky. The thoughts surface on the shore. The clearing out and the refreshment of change to ease back to the sea and churn in the waters of time. To reach and search of how to erase the tapes. The tapes of worry. The pattern that serves no purpose.
I follow the breeze in my mind and attempt to release as the author of the memoir must. Like her she lived a childhood of uncertainty, of chaos that prompts worry. Like her I know to let it go in adult life yet with a full moon, the memories surface and must be addressed.
I seek change now. Change to sell my house. To move to a place that offers much more. A place to seek and find depth in life, in nature. A place where art is everywhere. Where like minded people live and visit. Yet I must decide is my choice of realtor the correct one. There are flags and I wonder. Am I stepping in to a rip tide or will the ride be smooth. I need the vision that the light of a full moon brings to see that more clearly. So I cancel the photo session and give myself the day or days, to think it through. To find a comfort zone. To go through boxes and clear out. Clear out physically and mentally. Set the old tapes to churn back in the sea of the mind perhaps to fall at long last to the bottom of that sea. To be locked away as the full moon eases back each day.
And so it is the gift a full moon brings. The gift to clear out thoughts, patterns, boxes. To feel the breeze, the glow and follow the change ahead.
Follow that pull of the moon.