Realization


It comes in many forms.  Sometimes it is subtle, other times it is a big bam. Then other times it is rather middle of the road.  What ever the method realization arrives we must be ready to receive the message and we must be truly in tune with ourself to recognize that message.

If we are not then the Universe, God if you will, will continue to present the same obstacle.  Same situations, same type of people, same difficulties over and over and over again until we at long last get the message.  Yet when we do….wow do things begin to fall into place.

Life goes smoother.  There is more peace.  Our soul is calmer.  The atmosphere around us does not feel so chaotic.  Tasks not quite so difficult.  Birds seem to sound more beautiful.  The flowers more vivid.  We have to though, have a quiet heart and have reach the point of receiving that realization message.  This is not about faith.  One can have faith in God, the Universe, Spirit or whatever the entity is to a person.  This is about life and how we are living it.

Many times we bring into our life people who are there for the mere reason of showing us what we have been repeating over and over again.  What has been presenting the obstacles in not achieving or having a lovely life.

I grew up in a very unsettled environment.  Many times in the morning I would step on the school bus to hear my Mother screaming at my Father, knowing in my heart that a full on fight would follow.  So I worried all day long what was going on at home.  What would I face when I stepped off the bus and walked up the drive to the house.  Would there be anger still hanging.  Would there still be a fight going on.  Would my Mother be in a state of screaming, slamming things or belittling all of us.  The day at school would be less then enjoyable although school was my safe haven in many ways.  Yet teachers can also present an uneasy feeling.  Not so much a test they prepare, what they say.

In my teens I was elected cheerleader by the student body.  Something I so wanted and was so grateful to be elected. So proud.  I felt good about myself for a change.  That I was truly worthy when my other real world always was one of walking on eggs.  Then the summer came and I was sent to help my sister with her children.   That summer moved into the next school year. I was promised so much yet those promises never came.  I found myself in a school where I knew no one and was of course the outsider.  After all I was not living with my parents, rather serving as a nanny, housekeeper and cook with little to no time for fun.  My heart was broken because I missed being the cheerleader I so wanted to be. I was told I was a burden to my parents.  That they could not afford to have me living at home.  Then as it goes with an unstable family life, I was sent back home to return to my old school.  I was elated and thought I would immediately be welcome back into my old circle.  Immediately be popular again.  I was forced to face anything but that.

A teacher who I can still see and still hear to this day, told me in front of the class that I had let my friends down.  The school down. That I could not expect to fit in.  I was mortified.  Embarrassed.  Broken hearted.  Yet one does not talk back to a teacher at least in those days they did not.  He did not bother to ask why I moved away or where I had gone.  Rather he placed the blame on me as if it was my decision.  I use this as example because these type of situations mar us for a long time.  Self confidence is broken which in my case already was when I missed the ever so coveted position of cheerleader.  We are no longer accepted as we once were.  We move to other groups.  School and life becomes more difficult. We walk on more eggs.

And as we grow older we tend to attract the same type of people.  The same type of situations as we knew from our home life.  School life.  We do not always recognize the obstacles as the same, or  that the obstacles are set before us to learn.  To realize that we do not have to continue on with the path.  That there is a better smoother way.

I have spent a life of doing this exact thing.  I have not realized that I have surrounded myself with people of a dark nature.  People who drag one down.  People who want to tell you just how awful you are so that you will not out do them.  People who will take away what you value in the way of accomplishment by blaming you for something you had nothing to do with.  Yet our confidence is not strong enough to receive the message and move away.  We hang in there until we are crippled.  We recall what that teacher said.  We are reminded that our family did not feel we were worthy enough to be something special.  Something that was important to us.

Then one day in our adult life when we have begun to notice.  Begun to be aware.  Someone blasts us for what they perceive to be things we have done and the person causing the outburst, sits silent with their head hung showing through their body language that they have set us up.  That they have been undermining us all along.  At first we are terribly hurt.   The old stuff resurfaces.  Then it comes to us, maybe when we hear music.  Maybe when we sit quietly with our pet.  Maybe when we read.  Or maybe still when we are standing before the cookies in the grocery and open to receiving.  Then the light goes off and we realize we have repeatedly been presented with this type of person.  This type of situation so that we would erase all those previous scars from the years of undermining, belittlement, embarrassment and missed opportunities.

It is then we realize that we were not the one.  We were really rather ok.  Maybe even rather spectacular and we seize the realization moving to a more peaceful, smoother and rewarding life.  Leaving all the memories, people behind.  Realizing at long last that they are unhappy, unbelieving destructive people who now that we see clearly can no longer touch us.

There is such value in realization.  Such greatness.  Such openness.  Such light.  So when realization comes about in what ever form, we must step back and take a closer look because then and only then will we receive the message that will change our path and our life.

Realization is a beautiful thing and once received, the path ahead is full of sweet moments.    So let’s buy cookies.

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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