When Grace Appears


Whatever one’s faith, religion, spirituality or none of those,  little incidents of grace in different forms probably happen for all.  With Christmas Day just two days away, the little events happen more rapidly it seems then other times. At least for me these do.

Maybe it is that angels flutter about everywhere in decorations and Christmas hymns bring about the meaning of Christmas beyond the tinsel and presents.  This time of year I feel more connected to the spirit of my Dad then any other time of year.  Perhaps it is that I can hear his voice singing in all the Christmas songs.  That ever so clear, perfectly smooth tenor voice he was gifted with.  The type of voice that brings tears to those who are in touch with what grace truly means.  The type of voice that communicates that one is not burden with the sense of entitlement rather that they are offering peace and hope through song.  

If one is aware little incidents happen to remind one of the season.  To remind one that there is a higher being and that grace is all around us.  For me these come in little events like thinking I will check my iPhone for the weather.  Picking it up the page pops on the screen without even touching an image.  Then there is the listening to a positing on Facebook of a boys choir and as I wrote above hearing my Dad’s voice clearly in their song.  A tear forms yet has to wait for a tissue until the song ends.  Steps away I reach for a tissue and the wind chimes play a little tune.  Not the usual ping a ling.  A real tune as if a song.  I pause for a moment and listen as it plays.  The sense of something more then me fills the space. It is as if an angel hovers.

For years I have spent Christmas alone.  Family lives miles away and long time friends do as well.  Newer acquaintances have their family traditions or groups they spend the day with.  The other day,  my daughter asked if I felt lonely on Christmas and actually I do not.  I miss the festivity of a shared dinner yet it isn’t essential to the day for me.  The fact is I never really feel alone even when I may appear to be alone physically.  My childhood was spent in the country with no one around for miles.  My parents worked all the time.  My sister just wished I would go away so I mostly did other then having to share a bedroom with her.  So I guess at an early age, I learned to be alone.  To go inward yet I do not ever recall longing to have people around.  I always felt just fine and comfortable being to myself.  I always felt and still do that I was not really alone.  That came at a very young age and has remained my entire life.  

I can feel alone in a crowd more then I feel alone by myself.  I can also feel the sense of grace about me which allows me to be very in tune and very aware.  With time that ability has become something I embrace.  Something I am ever so comfortable with.   It does however I think make others uncomfortable which is unfortunate.  

It is at Christmas that I wish all could feel the sense of grace.  That all could recognize it when it appears and that all could perhaps offer graciousness to others all the time.  That the gifts under the tree offered something of meaning.  Something to enhance the ability to be true to oneself.  To be honest and clear in all ones endeavors so that grace can prevail.  So that one can stand alone yet not feel alone.  That the inner notes of a song be heard clearly and resonate in the heart.  That the mind be free of all mean thoughts and that each and everyone treat others with respect.  I wish that all those things could be placed in a box and given as a gift with a big beautiful bow at Christmas.   

The bells ring, the music flows, the chimes tingle ping a ling, a ling.  That is when Grace appears.

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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