Private Conversations


Today I noticed a woman having quite a conversation with herself complete with the hand gestures and facial expressions.  I gave her a side glance.  A smile.  She looked around as if looking for the person she was talking with.

She was quite colourful in her attire and had a wild handbag boasting a huge pink flower.  As my mind worked overtime, I could only think of the conversation she was enjoying.  Clearly she was trying to express to someone, perhaps herself an opinion of sorts.

We all do it.  I used to talk with myself in my head not moving my lips and then the longer I lived alone, the more it seemed ok to chat.  More or less those comments of working through something or actions.  Like “let’s feed the cats” or “I need to weed the garden”…those sorts of topics.  Never do I have a full on conversation with another party.

My Mother did although she fully denied it.  She would ask herself a question, then a few seconds later answer.  I suppose having quickly worked through what ever she was attempting to resolve.

Many times we pass off talking to ourself as if talking to our pets.  We all do this and of course we do, actually talk with our pets.  Many times I have to wonder what they are thinking of me when I talk with them.  Although they seem to understand and follow along.  Oddly they all seem to understand if I cop an accent, say like a Jersey shore accent.

Comically really.  And the woman I passed today was entertaining to me in a light hearted way.  She was in a rush so was quickly trying to work through her thoughts as she walked at a rapid pace.  The cool part was, she did so with abandon and without it seemed, a care if anyone was around.  One looking at her would think of her as a conservatively well dressed woman not one would think may enjoy a conversation with an imaginary friend or even to have a need to work through anything.

I enjoy seeing others talk with themselves because it adds a dimension to the person it seems.  When I was a child I had an imaginary friend.  It was very bothersome to my Mother although she was nice enough to go along with the whole scenario.  It lasted for many years and I managed to get through a lonely childhood because of my friend.

Sometimes as an adult, I think it may be fun to have one again but then I have cats and they serve the purpose of companionship.  Yet to witness someone having a conversation, sorting through things with themselves and walking on through the fog, it lightens my heart and brings a bit of joy.  I so hope it does the same for them because there is always someone up there listening….

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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