It is a simple thing, thank you. It really doesn’t take much effort yet it is many times the most forgotten two words. It is nature, to some to say thank you for this or that. For the small gesture. The dinner. The gift. The generosity.
Yet to others they do not seem to know the words. Maybe it was upbringing. Maybe it is that they feel entitled or maybe carelessness. It may be also a means of power. A means of hurt.
To not show gratitude seems a character flaw to me. It comes by nature with me to be thankful for what is done, what is given, what is extended. It is how I was raised. It is also I feel a bit of proper etiquette although proper etiquette on many fronts seems to be a thing of the past.
What has prompted me to think of the words thank you or lack of those is recently I offered art materials to someone who was grieving the loss of his Dad. I did so through his wife. It took months before she decided there was an urgency to collect what was to be given. In this case several new, wonderful canvases. I was sharing I felt and could replace the canvases at a later date when I have more time to paint.
I made every effort to accommodate her schedule yet it never quite seem to mesh with her time. All so taken by more important matters. Yet to get the canvases became suddenly important…that is if I wanted to be the one inconvenienced further. I arranged to leave the canvases with a friend in her shop to be picked up the next day. The next day came and went, so did several days. So I sent an email saying that those could not be left at the shop beyond the next day. The response was annoyance.
She did collect the canvases something I knew only by emailing and asking. The response was a simple “i did”….not thanks, thank you or kiss off. Nada. It seemed rude so I thought maybe I would receive an email of a thank you. So far none has come and now I know it won’t. Not sure why it seemed important to receive those nice two words or why I felt maybe it was the appropriate thing to do. I know I certainly would have been overly thankful and expressed it if someone was giving me expensive canvases. Not just one but several. I know if I had responded with the “I did” I would have also included thank you probably with very much attached.
It makes the generosity a little less nice. It gives it the taste of vinegar. That bitter taste. Odd too is when I open my emails I think maybe there will be a note about the joy of receiving the canvases yet nothing. So all I can conclude is the effort, the generosity was meaningless yet so sought after on the recipient’s part.
I give not expecting anything in return. No money, no gifts. Yet I guess I do expect or would appreciate a thank you.
It is the way of society. Take what can be taken and keep going. It makes me long for graciousness again. For when we were more civil to one another. To when generosity wasn’t expected rather appreciated.
And so it goes. It really is a simple thing….thank you.