It has been so long since I have been on this blog site and I did not realize so until this morning when I sensed a huge blockage. Blockage around the town where I live. Blockage of the mind. Blockage of income. Blockage of hope.
Writing has always removed any blockage and so this morning I take to the screen to allow my mind to work through the blockage that seems to prevail. Oh yes I have asked the Universe, God to reveal the path. To show the way and take down the wall. To bring hope again to my heart as it was in January with the beginning of a new year. So fresh. So hopeful that the months ahead would bring the best that all can come. Yet while my heart is full of hope there seems to be a vacuum around this community. Positive things seem to begin then end as quickly as those begin.
There is always talk of difficulty which I try to have deaf ears to and try to see hope rather then the obstacles. Yet there is a heaviness. An oppressiveness that hangs. It is thick and one can feel it. No one responds to emails. Calls are not returned. Money does not flow. It is not just for me. It is for everyone it seems. Stagnate is the word that comes to mind. Like a pond that has had no fresh water to add new life and a scum forms. It is like that here.
I am trying to become a lily shining high above the water level and opening my face to hope. My leaves shining high and welcoming the frog that sets for a moment on the surface. I am trying so hard to keep my hope alive just as the lily prevails above the scum. I am to myself with no support, help or care by others. Rather like the frog on the leaf of the lily others are seeking from me when I have not much more to give. They have sapped the energy from me and take what I have for their own good. It seems they will even take the last dime caring little whether there is food on my table or hope in my heart. They take. It is a way in this community. Perhaps this cavalier state. It is after all somewhat of an arrogant foreign country, this state, this town.
So there has to be a way out of the darkness. Out of the blockage. Out of the oppression. There has to be a light of hope. If only the universe would show the way. If only God would send a message and show that ray through the window. I know it is there. It is right at my fingertips. Maybe today will shine and maybe today the cloud will lift.