Disgruntled


Webster defines disgruntled as to make dissatisfied or unhappy yet it seems the status should have such a deeper meaning.  Many more words to define or describe the state or mind.

I have a neighbor who is always disgruntled way beyond normal about everything and mostly about the restaurants in this small town and even in the county.  They are either not open when he thinks they should be.  The soup is awful as is the case at a new place that open a few weeks ago and if that is not a good enough thing to slam them, the bread was old and stale for a panini which is grilled and would be difficult to know really if the bread was old.

He is always grumbling about something.  The epitome of an angry old man who must have been unhappy with his life.  There are only short times of peace with the man then he has to lash out at me.  Does not do it to others, just to me.  I have grown to tolerate him yet the outburst this morning was again a reminder of how much I dislike him.  The pure hatefulness, nastiness in his voice and his face all twisted in anger.

I had gone over to tell him of the situation with my sister who was admitted to the hospital today and did so because he acted sincere in wanting to know.  I should have known he was only wanting information for whatever gossip he could use it for.  Changed the subject then only a few minutes later spat at me in his anger.

It is such a pretty day and one to not be wasted on such a state of unhappiness.  Over the course of living in this town, he has benefited from many things that I have attempted to change in the town I suppose a result of being disgruntled. Yet I am not angry at the world as he is, nor do I go without noticing when someone has accomplished something for which I benefit.  To be told I am the most disgruntled person he knows, is so off base and so out of line.  He is the only one that bothers me and is the source of so much that has happen to me in this town.  His hateful gossip.  His out and out hatefulness toward me yet everyone thinks he is so very nice because he is meek.

So I will sit in my studio where the light pours in and once again center myself so that I can send good vibes to my sister.  A more important focus then a hateful old disgruntled man.

A lesson to be learned as well in vowing to not ever be like that nasty man.  To be grateful for what is around me.  For the efforts people make even if the bread is a day old.  To be grateful for the beautiful day.  To be grateful for life in general and how very fortunate I am to have the ability to appreciate the little things and focus on those.  I am grateful and certainly not disgruntled perhaps that is why the hateful man is so unhappy with me.

 

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About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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