In the early hours of the morning the mind churns thoughts like the undertow of the surf.  Darting to the gaps in conversation, in emails, in tweets and all the other source of information flying at us each day.  As a writer it is necessary to quiet the mind to find the true voice for the page, yet in these times of such unrest it is difficult to find that quiet.

Recently I met a friend for coffee.  A true outing when one lives in a small town.  We chatted about not having a purpose and not having left a body of work what ever that may be should our time be up today.  It is a point of frustration in many ways.  I have such admiration for a guy I know only briefly whom I met in a hotel lobby in Los Angeles many years ago.  He is a writer has been his entire life.  Pursued the career out of college and has his entire life painted on the page.  Published more stories then he can probably recall.  Written several books and had an incredible career.  And there he is with all that I dreamed to have yet I took twists and turns with only a tidbit here, a tidbit there of real writing.  Oh I wrote for a living all right.  Brochures, articles, news releases.  Nothing that really had a true purpose other then helping the bottom line of a client’s company.  Nothing that I can say I did with my voice.  And while this guy’s career focuses on an area that would not be one I would want, still he has followed his true voice.  His true talent and not abused it as I feel I have with what God gave me.

My friend and I talked about that here we are in later life hoping it is not too late to find our voice.  To have a purpose.  To not be put out to pasture as I feel I am currently.  To have enthusiasm for the day and know each day we are doing good for some reason.  Even if that reason is for ourselves, we must find that voice, that purpose.

So the thoughts churn and with each gap in an email another thought comes.  Such as this morning the exchange by a long time friend about the state of affairs in this country.  The madness.  The shear frightening movement.  The message from his was he would move to Italy if he was not too old.  Yet in our older years we must focus on the quality of life.  And perhaps that becomes the purpose for all.  If the movement wins then that quality will diminish even more then today.  In those gaps of thoughts perhaps there is a way to save the nation.  To know the quality of life will be ok and we do not need to pack our bags and move to Italy or any other country to have the quality of life as we age.  And maybe that is the purpose we all should pursue.  Maybe that is our voice.

About annamayfair

Enthusiastically interested in life, well being and art...writer by desire and dream, artist by the soul....friend to animals.
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